I think it might be called "sleep". Whatever it is, it's been in short supply at our house for the last 8 months. Since October Ethan has been waking up every hour or two at night either to nurse, flop around like a fish, play or scream/cry/fuss in our arms. For a while, I accepted nursing as the best option. Often I loved the closeness, the sweet baby nuzzle, his little feet and hands stroking my belly, the total interconnection between us. Other times I would be so cracked and tender that I would let out a little cry of pain every time he latched on. And other times I just wished we could all sleep.
In January we made the first of several attempts at night weaning. For us, this meant no nursing from 11 PM to 5 AM. Cuddling, rocking, patting, shushing, but no milkie. While this seems a reasonable request (who doesn't enjoy having his back rubbed when he wakes up at night?), Ethan clearly didn't agree. Many January nights of crying and rocking made no effect on how frequently Ethan woke up. It just made all three of us much crankier during the day. So cranky that Ethan all but refused to be put down during the day. So cranky that I struggled to find safe outlets for my intense frustration and impatience when Ethan would scream and scream in my ear several times a day at "nap" time. So we went back to nursing at night and resolved to try again in a few months. We reasoned that he just wasn't ready and we'd rather wait for the right time than spend weeks in a home full of so much sadness and anger.
Attempts in March and May also ended with a return to hourly nighttime nursing.
Then, two or three weeks ago, we started our night weaning ritual again. I think the transition to medical school (which is approaching in a few short weeks!) will be much easier if we can all get enough sleep at night. I also know Ethan will be a much happier during the days, which he'll be spending with Nana and a yet-to-be-determined childcare provider, with a little more sleep under his belt.
Unfortunately for Jeremy, Ethan has made it clear that he will no longer tolerate my presence at night unless we're nursing. So nighttime shush-pat-rock-soothing is 100% Papa's responsibility. And nobly, he's shouldered through the sad and sleepless nights.
Then last night something magical happened. Ethan slept from midnight - 5:30 AM. Let's call this "sleeping through the night-ish". There are no guarantees that this will happen again. But even one night of good sleep is reason enough for me to celebrate!
3 comments:
I'm still nursing my daughter. It hasn't been so hard at night to get her not to nurse as long as she's in the bed with us ( this could be a big problem later on!). I've been trying her with whole milk along with rice milk but she won't take either. She spits it out and wails for hours on end if I let her.
Not sure what to do myself so I am still nursing her and hoping maybe she'll want to eventually let go on her own ( just hoping not to nurse till almost 4 like my mom did).
My daughter only weighs in at 17lbs so I am to afraid to go cold turkey on her especially when she will only nurse, drink, water and juice. She needs to take a substitute but is refusing it.
Such is mother hood huh? Good look with getting your son weaned.
-Erin Lowmaster
Sweet sleep. 5+ hours is sleeping through the night for a little one. Congrats to you all.
I'm finding that as they get older, this becomes easier. Although, what works for us now, with a child that can reason more, is no eye contact and no touching. Just redirection back to bed and a reminder that we sleep when it's dark out. The interactions in what ever form have only served as a reinforcement to wake up - and as I've learned over the past 2.5 years, that reinforcement doesn't always have to be a positive one. Anger and frustration also served that purpose. So little interaction as possible.
We had one full night so far this week, with a pretty good one last night, despite the terrific storm.
Hang in there. Follow your heart - and sometimes your brain, as the heart sometimes looses resolve.
Erin-
We're not interested in weaning during the day, just sleeping through the night. But I might be singing a different tune by age 4! Taking away the breast at night and giving Ethan a lot of middle-of-the-night lovingkindness from Jeremy has been the key to our recent sleep success.
Ethan took a very cautious approach to solid food, too. "My Child Won't Eat" by La Leche League was recommended to me, although I never got around to reading it. If you read it, let me know what you think.
Debbie-
I so hope your next baby is a sleeper.
-Jodes
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