How we survived the holiday season

The Christmas season is an incredibly difficult time for Ethan.  The disruption in his routine is exciting but also stressful and full of anxious anticipation for him, with every day holding the promise (the curse?) of a present, a special event, a treat, a visiting guest from out of town, something different from the usual.  All this excitement wakes him early each morning.  Usual bedtime + early morning wake up = not enough sleep.  And Ethan is so very sensitive to not getting enough sleep.  I mean, really sensitive.  If he gets 11 hours, we will have a good day.  If he gets 10 hours, we brace for the torrent of meltdowns.  This year, the usual holiday upheaval was paired with me being out of town a bunch for residency interviews.  Plus Sam waking up at 4:30 every morning.  Plus Ethan's tooth pull.  All that chaos combined to create a parental stress level that has been through the roof. 

So we tried to adjust our holiday plans to honor Ethan's temperament and our stress level.  Most of our accommodations hinged on helping Ethan to know exactly what was coming:

• We told Ethan there is no Santa Claus. This was not my choice, as I love the Santa myth and felt a little cheated that no one ever tried to pretend it was real with me as a kid.  But Ethan's BFF Donovan doesn't believe, so Ethan started asking if Santa was really real.  Never one for lying, Jeremy just told the truth.  Less mystery makes for less stress for the little man.

• We let Ethan pick out exactly what presents he was getting, which were agreed on and purchased a month in advance.  Less anticipation, less disappointment.

• We limited the number of gifts. 

• No guests, no travel.  We missed Nana and Pappy and worried over them, holed up with the flu, but really benefitted from the calm and quiet of having the immediate family only on Christmas morning.

• Ethan opened his Lego advent calendar at night so that there was less motivation for early morning wake ups.

• Ethan helped me fill our home-made advent calendar with a Hersey kiss for every day.  I used to fill it with fun activities but this led to daily tantrums about how the activities that I'd picked weren't what he really wanted, which in turn hurt my feelings.  Chocolate makes everyone happy.

• Ethan and I went "elving" on Christmas Eve and filled the stockings for the whole family.  We went to the pharmacy and bought candy, flashing toothbrushes (a huge hit with wee Sam), lip balm, sports wrap, tea, lipstick for me.  Ethan was delighted to play a role in getting presents for everyone and loved sneaking around behind Jeremy's back.

• We put everything on the calendar (including Ethan's own illustration of the movie Frozen, shown below).

• Early bedtimes, as in both kids asleep by 6:30 PM.  

• No evening events, except the Christmas tree lighting and Grinch sighting in downtown Hanover.  Still got to sleep by 7 PM.

• We got rid of the Christmas tree right away after the New Year.  

• Lots of deep breathing and holding close to the belief that this too shall pass.  

We survived.  There was alot of fighting and flying emotions, and I did consider cancelling Christmas altogether next year, but I think our plan helped get us through.  And of course Ethan (and his parents) deserve credit for showing more maturity and self restraint this year than last.  By the middle of January we were pretty much done with the big tantrums, a good month ahead of last year's schedule.  We are so thankful to be done with the holidays, onto the New Year and back in our routine.