You may recall that sleep has been a bit of an issue with Sam. For a year and a half I woke up for several hours/for the day sometime between 2 and 4 AM. Then last summer Jeremy tapped me on the shoulder and took over. I started sleeping on the couch and Jeremy moved into the king sized bed next to Sam's crib. It took months and many 4 AM awakenings, but Jeremy has finally (momentarily?) convinced Sam to sleep quietly all night and wake up between 5 and 6. There's part of me that misses being Sam's primary person and having the around the clock connection to him. But it's not a big part. Mostly I just think about how many breakfasts in bed it will take to repay Jeremy for the gift of sleep.
I moved from the couch to Ethan's bed when he started waking up in the middle of the night sad and sweaty, calling for me. It took alot of effort to settle him down again and it would cut into his much needed sleep. If he woke and found me next to him, he'd just roll over and fall back asleep, no big deal. Also, I find sleeping in a comfortable bed next to my kiddo much more enjoyable than trying not too fall of the couch all night.
Sleeping in Ethan's bed has had another unexpected effect. I get to experience him at his sweetest times of the day. There may be much trashing about before falling asleep, but he always settles eventually, and he looks so darn precious when he is asleep. Then first thing in the morning, he rolls over and asks for a cuddle. Physical affection is not Ethan's favorite, so I absolutely treasure these snuggly moments. Having this tender time together has helped me rekindle that deep fire of maternal love for him. It has been so difficult to parent him through the hard times that I started to see him as a job that I had to tolerate, not a kindred spirit that I would actually want to be near if it wasn't required. A couple of months of getting a full night's sleep followed by morning cuddles, and I am in love with my boy again.
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