Sparkle

2 PM is a dangerous time.  Ethan no longer naps and quiet time doesn't recharge the tank on this guy the way a good two-hour nap used to.  So by afternoon he is usually tired and tired = smashy.  He asks to "play trucks" and then (accidentally?) crushes your hands while he batters his fire truck into your poor little tractor.  He "hugs" Sam with a not-so-stealth ferocity that (thankfully) we don't see as often these days, often pushing him to the ground and snatching his toys.  When Ethan is in this state, he doesn't really make eye contact and when he does it is a fleeting, angry glance.  It took me a remarkably long time, but I am finally learning to read this kid and actually respond to what he is asking for.  Most of the time he doesn't use words to say exactly what he feels and needs.  If he did, I imagine it would sound something like this: "I'm tired and hungry and that is making me wind up and my energy is spirally out of control and I can't stop myself from hurting you so please give me direction and a snack and help me move along to bed post-haste!"  But he does communicate  in a way that is perfectly clear, if you are paying attention.  This is how he tells me he is losing it: a few smashes, a few commands of "play with me immediately!", the reply of "NO!" when offered a snack followed by rapid shoveling of handfuls of said snack into the mouth, no eye contact, maybe a little elbowing.  So now that I can see and acknowledge that he needs something, what is the something I should deliver?  Clearly, anything that moves us toward dinner and books and bed.  But also a little fun project can do the trick to fill in the 2 PM vortex.  Usually my first 15 suggestions are struck down and he almost never goes for something that involves leaving the house.  (We have an intense homebody here.)  But when I find the right project, he focuses like a laser-beam, completely engrossed in a way that only happens when he is about to keel over from exhaustion.  I have seen him color mix or wash dishes or cover himself in shaving cream for a hour in this mood.

Yesterday, we sparkled.  Sparkling is my new Waldorf-inspired term for cleaning.  He chose his materials (spray cleaner, rags and Squeegee) and went to TOWN.  When Jeremy complimented me on my sparkling (meant to be a compliment on coming up with a positive way to survive the afternoon) Ethan piped in and said proudly, "I sparkled too".  Way better than a tantrum.